To know the road ahead, ask those coming back. ~Chinese proverb~

Listening to: Roots n all – Triple J

I haven’t posted since my return from Egypt and quite frankly I’ve had nothing to say – well at least I’ve felt like I’ve had nothing to say (surprising to some I’m sure, ahem). So many things happened on my return that it’s taken me this long to process what has happened and my reactions to them. Now, I feel I have some head space to say something. Attending the Aurealis awards on Saturday night had something to do with that. So good to reconnect with some very special people. And HUGE congrats to all the winners and nominees. Let’s not forget the nominees, having your work nominated is confirmation that these are amazing writers worthy of an award. And of course let’s not forget everyone else who was published in the past year but not nominated. Should we be offering them commiserations or still a big congrats for getting their work out there? I think I will go with the latter. I feel lighter and stronger for having these amazing people in my life. For all the award winners and nominees check it out here

So…to get back to having something to say – or perhaps more appropriate, having something I WANT to say. On my walk today the ocean was tumultuous, murky – a bit of a reflection of not so much my mood but my direction in life. My journey personally and as a writer. A journey that will no doubt take a different direction in the coming months/years. I’m at a crossroads – just what path will I take? Interesting times we live in. I returned to a global recession, which is bound to have an impact on all of us in one way or another.

On my walk I found myself so lost in thought and the murky depths of the ocean waves crashing against the rocks that I had walked much farther than I had planned. It is so amazing to be so lost in thought sometimes, even though I try to live in the moment, but for that moment I was. I was lost in nowhere space and it felt nice, comforting and creative.

In this moment of being ‘lost in nowhere space’ I was sort of in the past as well – no it was more like a ‘living in the moment’ kind of realisation. Never before have I found a place in the world I feel like I totally belong until now! I’ve travelled wide and far and don’t usually like to return to the same place time and time again (with the exception of Thailand). Even great hols in Australia – I like to see new places and experience new things. So this is a bit of a mind bend for me to realise that my heart belongs in the Middle East. I knew I always loved it, having spent a month in Egypt in 1991 and lived in Israel for 6 months near the Gaza strip (sad stuff that’s going on and has been going on for years) may peace be upon the region soon. I thought perhaps going back this time I would feel differently but now after this visit my feelings and thoughts are even more intense. Two months travelling Egypt and Jordan has made me question everything! From Islam, living in the East versus the West, third world countries and so on…

It’s difficult for me being back in Australia in so many ways. I have and am still going through some severe Ozzie culture shock, but for now there isn’t a lot I can do about it (it takes $$ to travel) but accept, and acknowledge my feelings, desires and the part I play in my OWN life. My life can be anything I want it to be, I can make my desires a reality. I have choices and that is magickal and important and I don’t take any of it for granted. So in the meantime while we go on this journey of an economic downturn I choose to immerse myself into my writing and make the commitment to be a better, stronger writer. Enjoy the journey with its ups and downs and learn from my peers and other writers. And as they say: ‘It’s not the destination that matters, it’s the journey.’

So here’s to all of us on our personal and professional journey’s whatever they might be – May 2009 be a year of reflection, doing and achieving and perhaps even some soul searching. I made my New Year’s resolution and so far am adhering to it: ‘To honour and nurture my spirit.’

What resolutions have you made and are you sticking to them?

Midnight rambler signing off...Salaam Alaykum

Song of the month

Listening to: Kings of Leon

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Apologies for not posting sooner...Australia Day is almost over and I've been home for 28 days...more on that later. For now, enjoy the new 'song of the month'. It was a hot favourite of mine for last year and came in at No: 1 on the Triple J hottest 100 and deservedly so. I pretty much thought the Kings of Leon or the Presets would nab the number 1 position. The presets did very well with two hot numbers in the top 10. YAY for Australian music! A great day was had filled with great music. Enjoy :)

Border Crossings, Valley of Moses and The Rose Red City...

Listening to: Waves crashing against the shoreline

We've just returned from Jordan and WOW!! I lost count on how many border controls and crossings we took to overland and get there - but was it worth it or what? Somewhat disappointed that we didn't have time to return to Israel and revisit the great country I once lived in - maybe next time...

Anyway, finally arrived in Aqaba and took the two hour journey to Wadi Musa (Valley of Moses) and then on to one of the 'new seven wonders of the world Petra aka 'Rose-Red City'. The Nabateans (desert tribes) sculpted this amazing city hidden from the rest of the world from towering rock walls of multi-coloured sandstone. This ancient city is found via the Siq a canyon-like passageway of amazing rock and while the Treasury, Petra's most famous monument is where most people stand in awe, I have to say the Siq was pretty damn impressive all by itself. Don't get me wrong the first glimpse of the Treasury is very impressive and amazing but the Siq was particularly special. The colours in the rock, how the light played with shadow and colour and because we were fortunate enough to spend most of the half hour walk it took us (too many photo stops) we had it pretty much to ourselves which made it even more special. The magick of the silence, or the echoing of voices up ahead, or the galloping of horses hooves from behind as horse and carriage came tumbling through the narrow canyon. Loved it, loved it, loved it!!

Once inside the site there is so much to see and do it's not possible to see all in one day. You are able to purchase a 1, 2 or 3 day pass - the latter is practically how many days you need to see everything provided you are fit. Since we only had one day to explore we stuck to the main sights: the royal tombs, street of facades, the roman style theatre, to name a few. We had the best day and our clothes full of Petra sandstone and dust were testament to a day of walking, climbing and exploring Petras' ancient city.

Jordan was an unplanned spur of the moment excursion and what an adventure and lovely surprise it turned out to be. There is sooooo' much to see and do in Jordan, three days is nowhere enough time to explore this amazing country. We stayed in a very basic backpacker hostel in Wadi Musa but it felt more like a homestay as the hospitality of the owners exceeded anything I'd expect from any groovee, chilled out backpacker haunt. It was as though we were in their home - well I guess we were really, a home with a lot of bedrooms :) We were made so welcome and we had a traditional Jordanian meal cooked for all of us on the second night of our stay (about 12 all up) in the dining room followed by chatting and drinking tea in the living room with travellers from all over the globe - just fabulous!! Ooooh, did I mention how cold it was - very high up in the mountains - 1100m above sea level. So it's official I'm totally in love with the Middle East and its people and will return time and time again. Now, if only my books would sell...

On our return to Egypt we thought in our wisdom that we would treat ourselves to a semi-upmarket hotel in Nuweiba before returning to Dahab. When we finally made it off the ferry from Aqaba and through Immigration and bartered a reasonable price for cab to take us to chosen luxury we found it closed, desolate and empty!! It was like a ghost town, eerie, abandoned, dust collecting all over the place, tables turned upside down, pool empty and one lone security guard informing us that it was no more and to continue further up the road after we'd already wandered the empty corridors for at least ten minutes as it was all open to the world except for tourists. There were some hotels open for business but pretty dead - not much happening and very expensive for not much luxury. So in the end we concluded Bohemian, backpacker heaven of Dahab was the place to be and caught a mini bus back for the 1 1/2 hour drive as we'd long missed the last public bus back.

Aaah, home. It seriously feels like home, welcomed back by all the Bedouins with their happy, smiley faces and hugs - so warm and welcoming. What's not to love about this place? We're currently overlooking the turquoise waters of the Gulf of Aqaba which is pretty hard to beat from anywhere I've visited in the world including Australia!!

The days are coming to an end and while you read this post it's already Xmas day in Australia. It is Xmas Eve for us and tomorrow we will celebrate Xmas in the desert at a Wadi with the Bedouins!! How good is that?

Right now I feel very thankful to be part of this amazing culture and spending time with such beautiful people. There is a great sense of sadness too upon the imminent end to this journey. Boxing day is onwards to Cairo before our journey home...Might be my last post for awhile, so until then Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year to you all and may all things magickal come your way inshallah.

Midnight rambler wishing you Salaam Alaykum!!