Listening to: Roots n all – Triple J
I haven’t posted since my return from Egypt and quite frankly I’ve had nothing to say – well at least I’ve felt like I’ve had nothing to say (surprising to some I’m sure, ahem). So many things happened on my return that it’s taken me this long to process what has happened and my reactions to them. Now, I feel I have some head space to say something. Attending the Aurealis awards on Saturday night had something to do with that. So good to reconnect with some very special people. And HUGE congrats to all the winners and nominees. Let’s not forget the nominees, having your work nominated is confirmation that these are amazing writers worthy of an award. And of course let’s not forget everyone else who was published in the past year but not nominated. Should we be offering them commiserations or still a big congrats for getting their work out there? I think I will go with the latter. I feel lighter and stronger for having these amazing people in my life. For all the award winners and nominees check it out here
So…to get back to having something to say – or perhaps more appropriate, having something I WANT to say. On my walk today the ocean was tumultuous, murky – a bit of a reflection of not so much my mood but my direction in life. My journey personally and as a writer. A journey that will no doubt take a different direction in the coming months/years. I’m at a crossroads – just what path will I take? Interesting times we live in. I returned to a global recession, which is bound to have an impact on all of us in one way or another.
On my walk I found myself so lost in thought and the murky depths of the ocean waves crashing against the rocks that I had walked much farther than I had planned. It is so amazing to be so lost in thought sometimes, even though I try to live in the moment, but for that moment I was. I was lost in nowhere space and it felt nice, comforting and creative.
In this moment of being ‘lost in nowhere space’ I was sort of in the past as well – no it was more like a ‘living in the moment’ kind of realisation. Never before have I found a place in the world I feel like I totally belong until now! I’ve travelled wide and far and don’t usually like to return to the same place time and time again (with the exception of Thailand). Even great hols in Australia – I like to see new places and experience new things. So this is a bit of a mind bend for me to realise that my heart belongs in the Middle East. I knew I always loved it, having spent a month in Egypt in 1991 and lived in Israel for 6 months near the Gaza strip (sad stuff that’s going on and has been going on for years) may peace be upon the region soon. I thought perhaps going back this time I would feel differently but now after this visit my feelings and thoughts are even more intense. Two months travelling Egypt and Jordan has made me question everything! From Islam, living in the East versus the West, third world countries and so on…
It’s difficult for me being back in Australia in so many ways. I have and am still going through some severe Ozzie culture shock, but for now there isn’t a lot I can do about it (it takes $$ to travel) but accept, and acknowledge my feelings, desires and the part I play in my OWN life. My life can be anything I want it to be, I can make my desires a reality. I have choices and that is magickal and important and I don’t take any of it for granted. So in the meantime while we go on this journey of an economic downturn I choose to immerse myself into my writing and make the commitment to be a better, stronger writer. Enjoy the journey with its ups and downs and learn from my peers and other writers. And as they say: ‘It’s not the destination that matters, it’s the journey.’
I haven’t posted since my return from Egypt and quite frankly I’ve had nothing to say – well at least I’ve felt like I’ve had nothing to say (surprising to some I’m sure, ahem). So many things happened on my return that it’s taken me this long to process what has happened and my reactions to them. Now, I feel I have some head space to say something. Attending the Aurealis awards on Saturday night had something to do with that. So good to reconnect with some very special people. And HUGE congrats to all the winners and nominees. Let’s not forget the nominees, having your work nominated is confirmation that these are amazing writers worthy of an award. And of course let’s not forget everyone else who was published in the past year but not nominated. Should we be offering them commiserations or still a big congrats for getting their work out there? I think I will go with the latter. I feel lighter and stronger for having these amazing people in my life. For all the award winners and nominees check it out here
So…to get back to having something to say – or perhaps more appropriate, having something I WANT to say. On my walk today the ocean was tumultuous, murky – a bit of a reflection of not so much my mood but my direction in life. My journey personally and as a writer. A journey that will no doubt take a different direction in the coming months/years. I’m at a crossroads – just what path will I take? Interesting times we live in. I returned to a global recession, which is bound to have an impact on all of us in one way or another.
On my walk I found myself so lost in thought and the murky depths of the ocean waves crashing against the rocks that I had walked much farther than I had planned. It is so amazing to be so lost in thought sometimes, even though I try to live in the moment, but for that moment I was. I was lost in nowhere space and it felt nice, comforting and creative.
In this moment of being ‘lost in nowhere space’ I was sort of in the past as well – no it was more like a ‘living in the moment’ kind of realisation. Never before have I found a place in the world I feel like I totally belong until now! I’ve travelled wide and far and don’t usually like to return to the same place time and time again (with the exception of Thailand). Even great hols in Australia – I like to see new places and experience new things. So this is a bit of a mind bend for me to realise that my heart belongs in the Middle East. I knew I always loved it, having spent a month in Egypt in 1991 and lived in Israel for 6 months near the Gaza strip (sad stuff that’s going on and has been going on for years) may peace be upon the region soon. I thought perhaps going back this time I would feel differently but now after this visit my feelings and thoughts are even more intense. Two months travelling Egypt and Jordan has made me question everything! From Islam, living in the East versus the West, third world countries and so on…
It’s difficult for me being back in Australia in so many ways. I have and am still going through some severe Ozzie culture shock, but for now there isn’t a lot I can do about it (it takes $$ to travel) but accept, and acknowledge my feelings, desires and the part I play in my OWN life. My life can be anything I want it to be, I can make my desires a reality. I have choices and that is magickal and important and I don’t take any of it for granted. So in the meantime while we go on this journey of an economic downturn I choose to immerse myself into my writing and make the commitment to be a better, stronger writer. Enjoy the journey with its ups and downs and learn from my peers and other writers. And as they say: ‘It’s not the destination that matters, it’s the journey.’
So here’s to all of us on our personal and professional journey’s whatever they might be – May 2009 be a year of reflection, doing and achieving and perhaps even some soul searching. I made my New Year’s resolution and so far am adhering to it: ‘To honour and nurture my spirit.’ What resolutions have you made and are you sticking to them?
Midnight rambler signing off...Salaam Alaykum
5,000 words a week. I have not achieved it yet. Last year's was to write every day, which I actually achieved, and have continued on with.
ReplyDeleteWas terrific catching up in person!
ReplyDeleteI tend not to make resolutions over new year. Rather, I go through 'a reflection' twice a year - happens over each solstice (one of which is near my b/day).
Like so many others, I have had some large-ish changes occur which I take as opportunities to shift, change direction as needed & grow. With this in mind, my mindset is to really work at going with the flow & allowing the unknown to be a safe part of the journey (too many years where that has been unsafe has made me gun-shy).
Of course a very large part of that is trusting in my creativity - that it is really part of my life's journey to do :o
Enjoy your process too (& being by a tumultous ocean is a great way to mull & be lost in thoughts).
Hugs
This is a good goal Graham, but perhaps simply writing every day is more achievable, and good for the spirit :)
ReplyDeleteGreat catching up with you too, Nicky. Hope you & Damon are well rested now :) I don't usually make resolutions either, I figure the one I've chosen will be challenging enough but firgure I'm worthy enough to nurture my spirit :)
ReplyDelete