If you want Fidelity - GET A DOG!

'If you want Fidelity – GET A DOG' are the words of Christopher Ryan who is a psychologist and co-author of the New York Times best-seller, Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality.

Christopher Ryan is in the country at the moment as part of ‘The Festival for Dangerous Ideas’

After listening to Christopher Ryan on 'Hack' yesterday about his thoughts on monogamy: how it’s kind of unnatural for the human species to remain in one relationship - it got me to thinking (that’s a dangerous idea in itself). It got me to thinking is this guy right? Surely, we can live happily ever after in monogamous relationships never thinking or straying or divorcing.  Is this why divorce is so high? 

My gut instinct is to say ‘NO’ we are and can be a monogamous society and find love, be in love and stay in love and loyal to the ONE person til death do us part – isn’t that the traditional vows of marriage?  I don’t know coz I changed mine, and then I chose not to get married second time round?  Why?

Hmmm…anyway, it got me to thinking about the stories I write, the characters and their relationships, the books I read, the movies I watch. Whenever there is strong characterisation you will usually find some kind of love triangle or dilemma around love and monogamy.  And don’t we just love those stories. Will she/he? Did he/she?  What if we like all three characters involved in this super love triangle – who do we bat for?  Someone’s gonna get hurt?

Here's an example of the kind of stories we seem to fall in love with.

Why do we love these stories so much if we are in fact monogamous by nature, wouldn't we hate the voyeuristic nature to these stories and wouldn't we be constantly angry with the character who chooses infidelity or does Christopher Ryan have a point?  

Have a listen to this interview with Christopher Ryan - fascinating stuff.

Have you read his book?  It’s an interesting debate – what are your thoughts?  Love to hear from you :)

More about the festival here:

Midnight rambler thinking about why my characters behave the way they do?